letter to gabriel.

To my baby boy…Gabriel Eliah.

The other day I heard you wake up from your nap.  Happy, as usual, you begin to call to me in your cute little sing-song voice.  Typically you don’t cry, but call out, “Maaaaaama,  Baaaaaaaba,  Maaaaaama,” until someone shows up at your door.  Today I decided to grab my camera before heading up to get you.  I am very glad I did.

There you sat cute as could be.  You showed me your blankie, pointed out the window saying, “Doggie!” When I asked you about the bird I heard, you made a cute expression as you looked around your room like it was getting ready to pop out and surprise us.

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And then one of my most favorite things in the world….you lean down because you habitually HAVE to give kisses through your cribs bars.

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One of your favorite games is to take your blankie and throw it out over your crib on top of my head, and then I throw it back up and do the same thing to you.

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After you got out of bed, you got dressed.  I just adore your sweet little puny arms.  And your eyelashes are going to melt the heart of the ladies someday…I am afraid.

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Books are your life right now- all shapes, all sizes, all colors, all types of stories….but your current favorite that has to be read and reread again and again is “Green Eggs and Ham.”

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You are such a big boy…and the thought that my “baby” is not going to be a baby much longer makes me sad.  I can’t believe you will be 2 yrs. old in just a couple months.

This may sound completely selfish, but I am kinda happy you have taken your sweet time growing and developing.  Each kid is different, and I know you will get there in your own time, but I am enjoying these days with you small and in my arms.

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It is no secret that I want to {and do} eat your face quite often.  How could I possibly help myself?

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And yes, you look like you father, but with your Mama’s brown eyes.  I am still in shock that I have a blond headed baby, but I love it.

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Sweet little boy….I will savor these last few days before your terrible twos arrive.  With you sweet and pretty calm nature, I don’t imagine that they would be very terrible.  But we will have to wait and see.  You may just surprise me and give me a run for my money.  :)

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Love you little goose.

~Mama

addy. {two years}

I have been putting off writing this all day because I seem to be having a bit of writers block…but here we go.  Part of my issue is that frankly, I am not a writer.  I am a photographer, I am an artist, I am a wife and a mother-but I am just a “wanna-be” writer.  One of the biggest things I struggle with when it comes to writing is trying to find the appropriate words to relay my thoughts and feelings when something is extremely meaningful to me.  The task seems nearly impossible….so typically I do what a lot of people do-I just give up.  Perfect example: Brett and I celebrated our 10 yr. anniversary in December….BUT I never blogged about it because I couldn’t even TRY to figure out where to begin??!  I mean really?? So I didn’t even mention it and I know-It is so completely lame…..

Today I find myself in the same situation.  I just did a shoot last week that was so very important to me, a big part being I know how important it is to my pal, Becky.  Becky and I have been best friends since 9th grade.  We are completely, totally, 100% the yin to the yang with one another. I was always the quiet one, she was the loud one….I was timid, she was outgoing…..I was a realist, she was a dreamer…I always made the plans, she went along with whatever I told her we were doing…..You get the idea. :)  Becky has always been the one to push me out on the dance floor, make me wear the funky dress, and she always, always, ALWAYS sees the bright side of every situation.  When I got pregnant with my 4th just a couple weeks after she announced her pregnancy with her 2nd child, we were both super excited!!!  While she thought about all the exercising we would do together (remember-she is the dreamer??!), I was making meal charts, and assigning books for her to read.  :)  We had a blast, and our due dates were mid-late May of 2007, about 2-3 wks. apart.

In early April of 07 I got a call from Becky’s husband….something had gone very wrong.  An ambulance had come and taken Becky to the hospital.  Becky had a stroke.  In the hospital they found that she had blood pressure that was dangerously high, for her and the baby.  Even though she had a month and a half left, they began talking about taking the baby.  The next few days were completely surreal.  Just a week before we had been experiencing our happy pregnancies together, and now my dear friend lay in the hospital and we were not sure what was going on.  Over the next few days were more strokes.  There were Doctors, testing, theories, and the answer seemed to point to an underlying genetic disease being the cause.  This realization was very painful but Becky handled it better than anyone possibly could.  She put her faith in God.  Finally things calmed down and she was stable. The doctors gave her the choice for her C-section of Saturday or Monday, and she choose Monday the 16th of April.  Monday morning quickly arrived, and I set my alarm so that I could be on my knees in prayer during her surgery.

Little Adeline arrived at a whopping 4 lbs. :)  She was precious as could be.  She was tiny, but she was strong.

I went to see her the day she was born and then took the photos below when she was one day old.  Becky didn’t get to see her as much as she wanted those first few days, and it was so painful knowing my friend wanted her child close, but couldn’t have her.  It felt wrong that I could hold her, while Becky lay 2 rooms down.  My heart was broken for my dear friend.  I will never forget when I held Addy for the first time….I remember how tiny she was, and that the baby inside of my big belly kicked and kicked when I held Addy close.  I just knew they would be friends. :)

Look how small and sweet she was…In the last photo they are trying to give her milk.

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And NOW look at her!!!!

I’ve taken so many photos of this precious girl…so precious to all of us….but never as precious as she is to her Mama.

Beck, I hope you love these photos of your baby girl.

She is growing up right before our eyes.

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Oh how I love those little lips!!!

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Eyelashes, Eyelashes.

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I LOVE her.

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Beautiful smile.  :)

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We caught her Beck!

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Girl likes to EAT!

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She looks so innocent….but I promise people, it’s all an act…..she is her mother’s child.   ;)

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tongue.

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getting SASSY.

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ahhhhh…she makes me want a girl to put pink chucks on.

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Picking Aunt Jesse’s flowers.  :)

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Happy birthday to my little buddy Addy!!!  :)  The Z family loves you so much, now and always!

Love you too Beck.  You are the best Momma around, and I adore you for reasons I couldn’t begin to number.

~jess