the time between.

It’s never easy letting go of those we love. My Grandma, one of my most favorite people on the planet, passed away the evening of March 21st at 96 years young. I’ve spent the last week reflecting, grieving, looking through mounds of photos, and explaining loss to our kids. This past weekend our family gathered to remember her and say our goodbyes. Being back in her part of the country was difficult knowing now, she was not there.

It’s so ironic, my last post was about welcoming my new niece, about the joy of new life, and then two weeks later we got a call saying our Grandma was gone. Life comes. Life goes. And then there’s also that big space in between. This verse in James keeps coming to the forefront of my mind…

Jam 4:14 “Whereas ye know not what [shall be] on the morrow. For what [is] your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”

We don’t know what tomorrow may bring, but we are gifted with today. Thinking of all that my Grandma witnessed in nearly a century of life completely boggles my mind. And yet if I could ask her anything I think it would pertain to matters of the heart and soul…those things that no one knows and she took with her. Did she feel fulfilled in this life? What was her happiest memory? What was her biggest regret? How would she want us to remember her? What was the most significant life lesson she would want passed on? I find myself examining my life and thinking about my own answers to these questions if my end were nigh. I’ve also been reminding myself, “I still have the chance to change those answers,” and then contemplating, what can I improve–today? If I were to live to be 96, what would I want to look back and see?

I’m so thankful for the long life of my Grandmother. I’m so thankful for the years I could listen to her many stories. She was blessed with the most incredible mind all the way to the end. I’m so thankful my children could grow knowing their fiery, big-hearted, eccentric Great-Grandma who was the definition of perseverance and determination.

I also want to say “thank you” for all the sweet words from so many people who have reached out to me. Some of you I know well, and some of you are complete strangers, but in one way or anther we all can relate. We are humans. We are frail. We all need to grieve. And then the time comes when we pick ourselves back up. We gather the cherished memories in our hearts and minds, and find our joy and strength once more. We journey on, through this short and precious time we have–the time between life and death.